Some people I know, when they are really stressed out, take an afternoon, evening or full day off. The next day, they are back to work. Others kick it for a weekend, and then dive back into the daily routine on Monday morning. I’m flipping through my mental rolodex of friends, associates and family and, to my horror, I realize that I don’t know anyone who really takes vacations.
“What?” you say. “I take vacations. I went white water rafting on the Snake River in Idaho for five days. And last year I spent six in Kauai, hiking and snorkeling.”
I am sorry, amigos, but five or six days are a break, an experience, a change of scene and pace, but not a real vacation.
A real vacation is at least two weeks. And even better is a month. This is a startling idea in the U.S.A., where most people are afraid to take off more than a long weekend because they may lose their jobs. This means we are certifiably nuts in the U.S.A. Are we born to work, stress, eat, shop, have sex and then croak? Will we actually take our cell phones and laptops with us to the grave, so we can check the headlines on After Life News or shoot off one last post-mortem tweet?
Talk to people from Europe (they will call it “holidays” and not “vacation” in Britain, but I swear it means the same thing). Ask folks from South America. They get time off from work. Off from work. Not a few days here and there where their nervous systems hardly have a chance for a good yawn, and certainly not a real rest.
Here’s the truth, friends. It takes several days to get one’s head away from home and office. And the head starts its whirring a few days before the end of vacation. So that’s 4-5 days where you’re not really on vacation—let’s call it pseudovacation or ersatz holiday. It takes time to travel to a destination, so let’s add on another day to each end. We’re now up to a week. With that under our belts, we’re now READY to start the vacation when, in fact, you’re probably already home and back to the grind.
Vacations or holidays are not just about getting away, although that’s the part that makes us smile. They are also about giving up on being productive.
If you were the kind of kid who came home from school and your parents asked, “What did you accomplish today?” you have probably spent your life accomplishing. If your parents never asked you, you most likely invented the question all by yourself. Vacation and productivity do NOT go hand in hand. Actually, they cancel each other out. At work, it’s good to be productive. At home, let’s say you’re remodeling or cleaning out the garage; it’s fine to accomplish that. But on vacation, all you have to accomplish is listening to the waves or slowing down enough to watch the sun plummeting over the hills at day’s end.
It is not easy to take a real vacation. You can expect to have anxiety or depression or guilt around it. There will likely be panic about all you have to accomplish before you go and after you get back. Fine. There’s a place for panic. Let it be. Smile at it. Doff your baseball cap. And continue doing what you are doing: planning for authentic, bona fide time off.
Your vacation may be spent in Bali or Brazil, or it may be closer to home. It can be a combo of travel and stay-at-home-with-electronics shut off. The “where” is less important than the “how.” The “how” involves taking your feet and stepping off the treadmill. For real.
Perhaps you’ve been wanting to get the meditation habit. A vacation is a good time to start. Or yoga. Get a mat and go for it. Whatever sings to your soul is the melody of vacation.
The other day I was in the post office and asked the two gents behind the counter how much vacation time they have each year. Besides all the holidays, one gets 3 weeks and the other a month. When they told me this, everyone on line started to “oooh” and “aaaah.” I wonder if they decided, then and there, to make out applications to work for the P.O.
It’s your life. Your nervous system. Your body. Your spirit. They are screaming for vacation. It doesn’t have to be expensive, luxurious or even exotic. But it has to be the thing most people long for and fear: prolonged down time, where renewal and regeneration can take place.
Judith Fein, an award-winning travel journalist, speaker and filmmaker who has contributed to more that 85 publications, is co-founder, editor and frequent contributor to the acclaimed blog: http://www.YourLifeisaTrip.com which has more than 60 writers. She lives to leave and is always on the lookout for what is unusual, quirky, life-enhancing and inspiring.
This post was first published on YourLifeisaTrip.com. Her website is GlobalAdventure.us
{ 3 trackbacks }
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I could almost hear the surf lapping in the background; my heartrate was slowing with the deep breathing; I was thinking that Feburary would be a good month to take “vacation” since it’s the shortest one…
Then I got to the part where the writer needs a real vacation. The spirit of reverie snapped so fast that I almost spilled Mai Tai (okay – so it was coffee) all over this keyboard. Back to work!
pick up your mai tai. i am so sorry that reality spoiled your reverie. sigh.
Some people can cat nap and feel refreshed. Same with 3 or 4 or 5 nights away. Others need more time. I believe there is a difference in a vacation vs a trip. Many people take trips, some actually take vacations. What is the difference? A trip is where you are on the go all the time. Different places to see, things to do, on the road. A vacation is where you kick back and relax. Often a first visit to a location is a trip. The second is a vacation as you have done it and can just sit and enjoy doing nothing. We all have in our mind what we want, so if you reenergize in 4 days, more power to you. Unfortunately not many have the luxury of a full month off from work, especially in our industry of travel.
For me best holidays are when I am coming back to office and can’t remember my login password :)
I am a caregiver and haven’t had a vacation (besides, nor a single day off) in the last 12 years, because I have no respite care nor anyone to help me out. I know what it means being able to really relax and to really take “time off” everything – and everthing may means also catching a plane that for other people is annoying because it’s late or full, but to me means that I’m away. Or being in the London tube while lots of people go to work, but I’m going to the Kew Gardens………….To me, lots of simple things can be a vacation like being able to work a football match on tv or having twenty minutes to check the mail, but 12 years without a day off are really taking their toll on me, so I would encourage anyone to DO take time off. You never know what life can throw at you, and you always need to be at your best.
It doesn’t take me “several days” to get my head away from home and office. As soon as I’m in my car (whether heading out on a driving trip or heading to the airport, I’m on vacation. And I definitely don’t think about work till my alarm goes off on my first day back! I do know people like the ones you describe, though. They have no clue as to how to relax. One has to wonder why they bother to leave home/work at all.
Can we address the fact that so many U.S. companies only give 2 weeks worth of vacation time? If others are like me, they would LOVE to take a full month off! However, taking two of those weeks off as unpaid time (especially now), leaving no vacation days for the rest of the year, is hard. The “time off” policies at companies must first change before the American people will collectively change their vacay habits.
People’s ideas of what constitutes a vacation differ. Your interpretation of a vacation being lying around on a beach listening to the waves or watching the sunset would not be a vacation to me. I can feel my joints stiffening and my brain atrophying at the very thought. If I wanted to be bored to death, I could find less expensive and difficult ways of doing it than to travel some distance to a beach or spa. A vacation in my opinion should provide some excitement or diversion from ordinary life, something of interest that I would not usually get to see or do. I want a vacation with lots of activities and things to see. There is plenty of time to sit around when I am incapacitated by old age. So your conclusion that few people take vacations may not be valid at all since your idea of a vacation would not be a vacation to me and, no doubt, my vacation wouldn’t suit you either.
What about those who take a week off to go to the beach with their family, but take the laptop and Blackberry and spend a couple of hours each day (or more) answering emails, being on conference calls, etc. Is that really fair to the employee or the rest of their family? That is one reason I like cruises for vacation — cell phone gets turned off as soon as the last line leaves the pier, and I am incommunicado for the duration of the trip.
The trhere are those of us who write about travel for a living and for whom staying at home is a vacation.