There are no stupid questions. But some people try hard

by Janice Hough on April 2, 2010


April Fool’s Day was yesterday. But some of these questions were no joke. For your Friday enjoyment, some questions that really push the “There are no stupid questions” envelope.

All are real travel questions asked within the last year in our office or at some of my fellow travel agents’ offices:

Will my flight be on time next week?

When will it stop snowing this winter in New York?

How long will it take to get my son a passport? We want to go to Hawaii this summer?.

Will Hawaii discount their rates at Easter because of the tsunami?

We want a Hawaii condo with a balcony, but can you find one where no lizards can get in?

Will you make sure we have a balcony cabin on a higher deck? We don’t want water splashing in.

“I have a full leg cast and can use the extra room, so would you tell the airline I need an exit row seat?” (I also got almost the same exit row request from a woman traveling with a lap baby and a two year old).

A friend at a different agency told me this one: Can you send me the itinerary again with an email in black ink?

And the one I really thought was an April Fool’s joke.

“Is there more than one airport in Philadelphia?” (Asked after I had booked a corporate traveler a ticket to Philadelphia per her request for a conference.) When I answered, no, why, she responded that she had wanted the one closest to the Pittsburgh Hilton.

No doubt Consumer Traveler readers, especially anyone who works in the industry, have heard things like this and more. Please feel free to amuse your fellow readers by adding them to comments.

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Tagged as: April Fools jokes, stupid travel questions

  • dcta

    Over and over again – “I need a ticket to go to California.” Okay….it’s a big State. (substitute for California: Florida, Kenya, France, etc…

    From Airline Groups Desk: “But I sent you the contract with a domestic zone grid.” Me: “Yes, but you left out New Mexico, should I assume it is zone 4 or 5?” Her: “You can’t have New Mexico on a domestic contract!”

    Client: “If I have a ticket for the 2pm flight does that mean I can’t go on an earlier one if I get to the airport early?”

  • http://www.travelbusiness.net Alex Irmler

    “At what time is the midnight buffet?”

  • John M

    I had a client who insisted that he wanted to go to Florida. After several emails and voicemails asking him to be more specific, one of my co-workers said that he would take care of this problem for me.

    He reserved a ticket for the client to fly into Pensacola, pick up a car rental and then fly out of Key West. He sent the traveler the email and indicated that he was going to issue this ticket within 24 hours if he didn’t hear back from the customer. Ten minutes later the customer called and said “I just wanted to go to Orlando.”

  • Ann S

    After being a TA for more than 20 years, I have been asked a LOT of these kinds of questions. I really liked the lady who asked me, “where on the ship is the elevator that goes from the front to the back”.

  • david

    Client: “If I have a ticket for the 2pm flight does that mean I can’t go on an earlier one if I get to the airport early?”
    Well what’s the answer? Some airlines at some airports will let you on an earlier flight. The same airline at a different airport may not. Other airlines will make you pay to change your ticket or refuse to change as your ticket is non-changeable.
    It mainly depends on the airline staff and how flexible they want to be.

  • Patti

    I informed my next door neighbor (we both live in Dayton, OH) that I would be going to Hawaii and be gone 1-1/2 weeks. She asked me if I was driving or flying?

  • Carrie Charney

    I don’t get the Philadelphia one. I once asked my brother which was closest to his house, O’Hare or Midway. And If I were staying in downtown NYC, I think I’d want to fly into Newark because of the easy access on public transportation. I must have missed something on that one.

  • http://leftcoastsportsbabe.com Janice Hough

    Newark is an hour away from New York, and both Chicago airports are within an hour of downtown Chicago. But Philadelphia is 267 miles by air from Pittsburgh. I get the Ohio issue too, people don’t realize it’s over a five hour drive between Cleveland and Cincinnati, ditto in Florida that its over four hours between Orlando and Miami.

    Some weird trivia for you, Philly is MUCH closer to either New York or DC than it is to Pittsburgh.

  • Carrie Charney

    Well, Janice, I did miss something. I totally missed that she asked about the Pittsburgh Hilton. My brain told me the Philly Hilton, so it didn’t make any sense. Back to the Evelyn Wood Speedreading course for me!

  • John V.

    For a trip to Phoenix, I had a client ask me for a “gulfview room.” Some resorts do have “GOLFview rooms” meaning a view of the golf course. When I questioned this, she said, “No, I want to see the Gulf of Mexico.” We didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was quite a hike down to the water but that the sand was very nice along the way.

  • Margie Martin

    I’m a retired Travel Agent. I’ve been asked this one a few times.

    I want to go to Los Angeles on Friday

    Certainly, Where do you want to leave from?

    From here.

    Where are you now?

    In my living room.

  • http://www.witmornyc.com Jack Gaffney

    Janice –
    Newark is NOT an hour away from Manhattan. With no traffic, you can get there in 20 minutes from the west village or lower Manhattan – with traffic it can take an hour, but JFK can take two hours from the same west village or lower Manhattan locale.
    JFK is actually the worst airport to get to as the 287 LIE and Van Wyck are always backed up especially on friday afternoons in the summer.

  • Dennis

    A friend of mine used to conduct lake excursions by motorboat. He was frequently asked, “How long does the two-hour tour take?”

  • MidMom8949

    Though these are sort of funny, remember these are your customers.

  • http://www.JudyColbert.com Judy Colbert

    As the author of an upcoming new DC travel guide book, I’m frequently riding on Metro. When I see people looking at the station map or the city map, I ask if I can try to help them (try being the operative word here). I haven’t figured the percentage, but a large number will say they want to go to the Smithsonian. I ask which one and they repeat, “the Smithsonian.” I tell them there are 18 Smithsonian operations and three stations that feed to the Mall.

    Of course, I’ve also had people be amazed that the tall white “pointy-thing” is the Washington Monument. Not foreigners; USA people.

  • Doug

    25 yrs in the biz, and I swear this is true. A senior booked on a flight YYZ on a long planned return home to FRA, called concerned because she had heard some planes these days (2004) had automatic pilots.
    She explained nervously she would rather go on a flight with real pilots.

  • Susan

    hardly any of this is outrageous or even close to “stupid.” Sometimes people just mis-speak, as I’m sure you all have at one time or another.

    BTW – On Celebrity the “midnight buffet” opens at 1130.

    And Judy, you sound like a class A jerk, not “helpful” at all. Disappointed that average Joe doens’t know DC the way “you,” a travel guide writer does? I’m sure your self-righteous attitude oozes out of every pore. Making people feel stupid doesn’t really encourage learning or much of anything else.

  • kenish

    Seen on message boards- “When we get off the cruise ship in San Diego, how close will we be to the waterfront ?”

    “I heard you can have ‘extra daylight’ in Alaska during the summer. How much does this usually cost? Should we ask the cruiseline?”

  • AirlineEmployee

    I work at a ticket counter at LGA. Here are some “head-scratching” dialogues I’ve had with passengers and others……(followed by the statement I’d like to say in parenthesis).

    Customer — “I need a ticket to Chicago on your next flight”.
    Me — “I’m sorry the flight is already full, there are no seats available”.
    Customer — “It’s full?”
    Me — “Yes, no seats available, no seats to sell you”.
    Customer — “It’s COMPLETELY full?”
    Me — “Yes”.
    ( “completely” full, that’s a good one – No sir, it’s 1/2 completely full, figure that one out ).
    ———————————————————
    Customer — “I have to accompany my daughter to the gate” (daughter is college age, looks like a Playboy centerfold).
    Me — “So sorry, we reserve that for younger children 12 or under, FAA rule if you are not traveling”.
    Customer — (Irate) – “But I have to make sure she’ll be okay and find her way to the gate. You have to let me go to the gate with her –, get me a manager, get me a supervisor now!! ”
    Me — We’ve just checked her in to Moline – she’s changing planes in Chicago with a 90 minute connection. How is she going to be safe in Chicago for 90 minutes and not get lost there?”
    The mother was not given a gate pass.

    (“Excuse me, Mrs over-protective, smothering mother – You’re daughter looks like she’s doin’ every college guy on campus and you’re worried about her getting lost at Ohare ?? I assume she can read signs for connecting flights/gates”).

  • AirlineEmployee

    Passenger — “I’d like a flight to California”.
    Me – Where in California?
    Passenger — “CALIFORNIAAAA !!” (voice raised, sounding irate).
    Me – Any particular city in mind ?
    Passenger – Ohhhhhh (ha-ha), I guess you would need to know that.
    Me – Yeah, I’d need to know that.
    (And then they pick a small town nobody has ever heard of).

  • Annie

    Making fun of your customers really shows your lack of caring, respect & integrity. Sometimes the public doesn’t understand all your rules or acronyms and our questions do seem silly to you. Keep in mind if you didn’t have customers; you would not have a job!! Thinking you are superior to others is your downfall.

  • ac hopper

    I can be condescending, too.
    If I want to be.
    From service industry workers, I prefer the following question, “How may I help you.?”

  • Nat

    Is it safe to go to the beaches of Cancun after the oil spill? We want to leave in a week but not sure……and I couldn’t find much info on the internet. Help please!

  • http://www.tripso.com/author/leocha Charlie Leocha

    From what I read, the oil spill is not affecting Cancun at all. Everything has been moving to the east. Enjoy your vacation.

  • Matt

    I agree with Annie. Thank God for people who aren’t experts at everything in the world. They make it possible for us travel industry folk to make a living doing the greatest thing in the world. Inform them what time the 2pm tour is….

    In all seriousness, travel is one of the most mind-opening experiences humans can have. It’s new and exciting because takes you out of your comfort zone. Therefore your humility increases and you feel it’s okay to ask for help.

    These questions are funny though and in my 15 years, when I give them back the cross-eyed look and they realize what they asked, we collectively get a laugh out of it as they feel more justified being stupid when outside of the normal day to day.

  • Frank

    AirlineEmployee April 17, 2010 at 1:44 am
    Passenger — “I’d like a flight to California”.
    Me – Where in California?
    Passenger — “CALIFORNIAAAA !!” (voice raised, sounding irate).
    Me – Any particular city in mind ?
    Passenger – Ohhhhhh (ha-ha), I guess you would need to know that.
    Me – Yeah, I’d need to know that.
    (And then they pick a small town nobody has ever heard of).
    ==================================================

    LOL, I worked Reservations many, many years ago. You forgot the “other” question………….where do you want to LEAVE FROM?
    (Where are you calling from?)………..response, my house.

  • Frank

    ac hopper May 1, 2010 at 1:21 pm
    I can be condescending, too.
    If I want to be.
    From service industry workers, I prefer the following question, “How may I help you.?”
    ==================================================

    And, how about PASSENGER DECORUM? I prefer to hear the following phrase, hopefully your parents taught you in childhood.

    MAY I PLEASE HAVE…………………???

  • monko

    Service attitude people. If you don’t have it, you’re screwed. Maybe not today, but in the long run. Just smile and answer their questions, after all you aren’t aeronautic engineers or brain surgeons. You are just printing boarding passes and sending e-mails with itineraries, working phones, etc. A monkey could do it, except they can’t talk. So that is the only reason a monkey hasn’t taken your travel agent/airline employee job yet. Think about it. When scientist discover how to make monkeys talk, what will you do? Pick up airline monkey poo at the airport? Nothing worth bragging about, just like your current job.

  • Domino

    I am working for Eurostar the cross Channel high speed train service from London to Paris and Brussels. Using the Channel Tunnel.
    *
    On a few occasions some passengers asked me if they could have a seat next to the window in order to see the fish.
    (yes…. of course!! Hello!!! It is the tunnel under the Channel!!!!! not trhough or on …) If one day you see the fish….well we have a massive problem here!
    —- Also one passenger asked while seeing the disabled toilets door (closed) where did the lift go. (on board of a high speed train!)…hummm the casino is on the 5th floor sir!
    —— the usual..What time is the 09.32 departing?
    ——-Whilst stepping out from the train…”Whoaww.. it was fantastic..we did not get wet!”……(oh dear!)

    Take care all!

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