Yesterday had two headlines that I was certain were jokes — stories that someone perhaps picked up by mistake from The Onion, a satirical newspaper based in our nation’s capital. But I was wrong.
Here are the headlines: “Spirit Air to charge for carry-ons,” “Women arrested for smuggling corpse” and “Today’s Running of the Peeps trades horns for marshmallow.”
Here are the strange but real stories.
Regarding Spirit Airlines, we quickly learned that this was no joke. The announcement, which included 1¢ airfares, was also probably no joke to the Department of Transportation whose current policy of defining airfares.
Not only will passengers have to pay for carry-on luggage that doesn’t fit under the seat, but rather than an airfare, they will pay for their fuel and a seat reservation.
In order to continue reducing fares even further and offering customers the option of paying only for the services they want and use rather than subsidizing the choices of others, the low fare industry innovator is also progressing to the next phase of unbundling with the introduction of a charge to carry on a bag and be boarded first onto the airplane.
“In addition to lowering fares even further, this will reduce the number of carry-on bags, which will improve inflight safety and efficiency by speeding up the boarding and deplaning process, all of which ultimately improve the overall customer experience,” says Spirit’s Chief Operating Officer Ken McKenzie. “Bring less; pay less. It’s simple.”
The new carry-on bag fee is effective for reservations purchased after April 5, 2010, for travel August 1, 2010 and beyond, and will be available for purchase on or before July 1, 2010. The fee applies to carry-ons to be placed in overhead bins and includes priority boarding in Zone 1. Personal items that fit under the seat are free.
The second wild headline on MSNBC.com read: “Women tried to smuggle corpse onto plane.”
I don’t have words for this one, so I’ll leave it to the MSNBC.com writers.
Two women were arrested at a British airport on suspicion of trying to smuggle a dead relative onto a flight bound for Germany, police said on Tuesday.
The 91-year-old deceased man was pushed in a wheelchair through Liverpool’s John Lennon airport wearing sunglasses before check-in staff became suspicious and he was prevented from boarding the plane.
He was believed to have been driven about 35 miles to the airport by taxi from Oldham, Greater Manchester, police added.
Today’s Running of the Peeps trades horns for marshmallow
You’ve got to be kidding … nope. It’s real.
Pamplona may have the running of the bulls. But St. Paul will have the Running of the Peeps.
Contestants of the annual Pioneer Press Marshmallow Peeps Diorama Contest are being invited to parade through the skyways of downtown St. Paul carrying their dioramas at noon today.
The inaugural Running of the Peeps will start at the lobby of the Pioneer Press, 345 Cedar St., St. Paul. If you have a diorama, meet us here at 11:30 a.m. If you simply want to witness the historic spectacle, and you’re not afraid of getting trampled by a marshmallow chick or rabbit, check out the parade route.
When you think you’ve heard them all, something new comes around.
