Making amends? Ask before you give

by Peter M. Zollman on November 6, 2009

winefruit
The hotel I was staying at made a significant mistake on my food. A major screw-up that, under different circumstances, could have led to an industrial-strength lawsuit. But they apologized profusely and said they’d take corrective action. Fair enough; thank you.

When I got back to my room late that night, on the bed was an additional step — a large fruit-and-cheese plate with a bottle of wine. It was very thoughtful and appreciated.

But. (Isn’t there always a but?) But. I couldn’t possibly use the fruit and cheese. Plus, I don’t drink wine. On top of that, I didn’t want to take the wine home for a friend because I don’t check bags.

A very nice gesture, gone awry.

Note to hotel (and by extension to other travel providers): If you want to make amends to a customer for a mistake or problem, that’s great. But ask what would be appropriate. This gift was inappropriate. Appreciated, but wasted. Why not say, “We’d like to make amends. We can give you a gift certificate, or a fruit-and-cheese plate with a bottle of wine, or some bonus points for your frequent-stay account.” (Or whatever.)

I might have declined, because the apology was sincere and sufficient. Or I might have chosen No. 1 or No. 3 in this case. But now, they’ve squandered a good bottle of wine and some perishables that I hate to waste. If I’d known it was coming, I might have suggested a $20 donation to the local food bank instead. For the same amount of money, they would have made me even happier, and done some good for the world. And gotten a tax deduction.

Ask. It’s simple.

(Photo: www.giftbasketvillage.com)

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

John November 6, 2009 at 11:42 am

No, please don’t scare everyone into thinking they have to get your permission to give you a gift. So it wasn’t the most suitable gift for you, didn’t your mother teach you it’s the thought that counts. Besides, the problem of what to do with the gift basket is easily solved. Just pick it up and head for the elevator. I’m sure before you’d even get to the lobby you’d pass I nice young couple you could turn to and say, “The hotel sent me this gift basket that I’m not going to be able to use. Would you like it?” And there, you’ve performed a random act of kindness and brightened someone’s day.

Natalie November 6, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Agree with John. That’s why it’s a gift. You don’t get to specify what you want, it’s the thought that counts, etc. The hotel was just trying to make a gesture and it seems to me like you are over analyzing it just a tad. When I make some baked goods for extended family this holiday season, I don’t think I’d appreciate the comment “wow, you should have taken this money spent on flour and eggs and donated it to a shelter.” If I decide to make a gesture, it’s my choice.

Peter M. Zollman November 6, 2009 at 5:04 pm

Wow — what a great (and thoughtful) comment by John. He’s absolutely right (as is Natalie). I wish I had thought to take the gift basket and do exactly as he’d described. Now *I’ve* learned something from the response to my own post. Thanks! And if it ever happens again, I’ll know what to do.

JandM November 7, 2009 at 12:40 pm

This was not just a gift its the hotel management’s way to ensure a good customer relationship. It is therefore not unreasonable for the management to give an option of gifts. Many people do not drink or there may be dietary reasons the gift is not able to be accepted. Also fresh fruit and dairy can often not be taken into other countries (or states) therefore even if Peter wanted to he could not take the gift home.
When my husband and I stayed in a hotel in Portugal there were was an issue which the hotel wanted to make amends for. We said we would like a local charity to benefit on our behalf. The hotel appreciated this gesture and was glad to make the donation.

Carrie Charney November 7, 2009 at 4:47 pm

May the hotel cleaning staff accept gifts like this? I might have left it for the “maid,” along with the usual tip, but I wonder if that would have caused trouble.

JB November 7, 2009 at 5:48 pm

You could have given it to one of the first people you saw in the street and they would not have looked at your teeth.

SoBeSparky November 7, 2009 at 7:07 pm

Asking me was exactly what the Crowne Plaza in Ft. Myers, FL, did. After waiting 24 hours for them to fix the cable service on the room’s tv, I told them they should not promise what they could not deliver. They agreed, fixed the cable in 10 minutes and asked me what I would like to make amends. I took the extra Priority Club points. Case closed and I was a happy guest.

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