1) Do it yourself. It takes less time to travel 1/3 airline speed in a small private airplane any distance up to 1000 miles. Blessed are those in control personally.

2) Tequila. Always brings an idiot smile to your face, hopefully only AFTER completing step #1.

3) Laughter. Laugh at your idiot relatives tales of woe. Laughter IS the best medicine, and laughing AT someone is always funnier than laughing with them.

4) Assume the worst. If you assume that every delay means a cancellation with no available seats for 4 days, then anything else you get is positive development.

5) Say Thank You, randomly to strangers, and to every airline or airport employee you meet. Seeming strange and on the verge of insanity will do wonders to getting where you need to go swiftly as people will want to get rid of you.

6) Smile. Even when they tell you that your flight is canceled and you are stuck in Fargo for a week, smiling disarms people, especially if you have a maniacal glint in your eye as you do it. Think Gomez Adams crashing the trains in the basement maniacal. when given the bad news smile back, and as in #5, they’ll do just about anything to get rid of you.

Finally, if that does not work, pretend you are autistic. Start talking about something like model railroads or types of airplanes than Pan Am flew before it went bankrupt and talk only about that. The travel employee right in front of you will do anything to get rid of you, Do NOT stop talking about this topic until you get exactly what you want, making sure to mix in references to what you want and how it is relevant to Pan Am Clipper from 1938 in order to sew as much fear and confusion in the travel industry employee as possible. Once you get what you want, give it a little chuckle, smile [remember #5] and take your upgrade to first class on the 777 to London, or whatever it was you needed.

A wonderful new age spirituality book came into my life many years onboard a flight to LAX. “Living with Joy” by Sanaya Roman.

In it, she explains the world around you will always be chaotic….it’s how you RESPOND to it that matters. And, how we can change your NEGATIVE thoughts, into POSITIVE ones. Thinking on different levels in life. And, how whatever you gives thanks for, will increase. And, living your higher purpose.

when I watch passengers freak out over the littliest thing, I often think about this book and wish they had an opportunity to read it and work past their frustrations and live life with gratitude.