In these days of air travel, delays, flight cancellations and more, a whole lot of humor helps. Or you may end up beating your head against the wall.
With this in mind, here are some amusing and painful stories. I bet there are plenty more floating around in the not so friendly skies.
On the plane:
- when your boss is booked in business class and is sent to the back of the plane because the airline overbooked the center section. Do you trade seats with her (or him) or sit in your assigned seat and try not to smile?
- the plane is sitting on the tarmac and the pilot announces there will be a further delay and “thank you for your patience.” A child loudly chimes, “Mommy, I have no more patience.”
- a woman asks a flight attendant for an item and receives another because of a pronounced language barrier. Imagine the look of horror when she removes the sanitary pad from her eyes when eye shades would have done the trick. Plus, the adhesive caused the passenger to scream when it was time to see the light of day.
- Southwest flight attendants have their spiels down to a science. “Upon exiting the flight, take all your belongings. If you leave something, make sure it’s something we’ll like; definitely not a child or a spouse.”
At the counter — when your flight has been canceled or delayed: Reasons people must be immediately rebooked:
- I have to get home to feed my three cats.
- Hey, my car will be towed if I don’t get to my destination on time.
- I need to get home to my wife before my mistress does.
My absolute favorite and this is a true story:
A flight is canceled and there’s a long line of people who are eager to be rebooked. One passenger, who’s in the middle of the line, cuts ahead of everyone and informs the woman behind the counter, it’s imperative he be booked on the next flight, because he has to make an important speech.
She calmly informs him to please wait his turn since everyone has urgent matters to which to attend. He slinks back to his place but not for long. Mr. important executive reappears and loudly asks, “Do you know who I am?”
Bless this agent. She picks up the microphone and announces: “We have a passenger who doesn’t know who he is. If anyone on flight # __ could identify him, I’d be most appreciative.”
Needless to say, this man is not amused and tells the agent to “go F * * K yourself.”
Without missing a beat, she replied, “There’s a wait for that too.”
Don’t you wish you’d had the frame of mind to have a such an immediate response?
The glamor days of travel are over. But, do you have a story to post that will give readers a laugh or perhaps reduce them to tears? Come to think of it, this could evolve into a book.
Karen Fawcett is president of Bonjour Paris
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