That reminds me of my first trip to Ukraine, still in the throes of Communist system even though officially it was dead.

We were in the aptly named ‘Hotel Anartika’ right on the Black Sea.
It was at the end of October 1994 and it was freezing!
They also had never heard of weather stripping and as a habit kept the hallway windows open for ventilation.

But at our request—“no heat we do not need to turn it on until beginning of December.”
But they at least had an excuse—no money, and a bad system of management (the whole country).

What is disconcerting is that as you mentioned your husband’s asthma, sleeping in that cold could easily have given him bronchitis; not fun especially when he was going for tests.

One last thing, my ENT recommended a solution of ½ rubbing alcohol and white vinegar to put in the ears when you feel the early stages of an ear ache coming.
This has worked for me.

“I think what I would have liked to have heard from you is that you understand that what you originally posted was entirely different than ascertaining whether a hotel is likely to offer a small child a sexually inappropriate experience. In fact, I think the broad audience of this site would be well served to know how to ask about this without sounding like a homophobe. Your advice did not offer this. “

>>I also included questions about the disabled, yet no one inferred I was disabled. And, I mentioned you might want to know if a facility was gay friendly if you’re gay, but no one inferred I was gay.<>Seems to me that, like reverse racism, only overly sensitive people
people looking to create issues read any homophobia into this.<>And, ironically, the gay manager that infiormed me the facility was ‘gay friendly’ was concerned that as a parent I would want to know – I
didn’t ask him for that info, he offered it.<<

My guess is, he followed that specifically with hints as to the kind of behavior which might be encountered – and THAT should have been the trigger of concern for the child, not that the hotel welcomed gay couples. Or a follow-up question to his comment ("Do you mean you simply don't discriminate and welcome everyone, or are you saying that at times, there may be public behavior which neither of us would want a 4-year old to witness?") would be reasonable. Perhaps that's what happened, and you just used the "gay friendly" phrase as shorthand for "adult behavior" – but that shorthand is what is offensive in the first place.

Laura – I’m not going to quibble, but I didn’t INFER – you recommended asking about gay-friendliness to parents who worried about their children being exposed to experiences that needed to be explained, as your parents needed to explain when you were six. I get that there is a broad audience to this site and to your advice. I’m just saying that you may be underestimating the number of people who are increasingly uninterested in your hints to finding hotels that …don’t cater to gay people. I know you backtrack in your folllowups but in your original post , it is just about whether a hotel is “gay friendly”. As has been said before, if you don’t want a party hotel, that’s a whole other question.

While I take your statement about not being homophobic at face value, I can nonetheless see how including whether a hotel is gay-friendly in a list of things to ask about could provoke such a reaction. As you noted, plenty of heterosexuals also engage in behavior you’d rather not explain to a child of that age – but that’s never on anyone’s “list” of things to look out for.

Might I suggest, instead, that if concern for your child is the real issue, you simply rephrase that question to hotels in the future: “I’m traveling with a 4-year old child. Is the atmosphere in the hotel kid-friendly, or is this a more adult place than might be appropriate for a child his age?” It covers the gay events on the one or two weekends a year, and it also covers the trashy “almost having sex in public” straight couples the other 50 weeks.

Actually TIM, I never said that. I said the “comment reeks of homophobia”. I NEVER mentioned Laura.
And, being one of her readers, I found that “comment”, INSULTING.

Take, for instance, Frank’s comment. He immediately thinks you are homophobic as opposed to warning parents whose beliefs frown upon homosexuality that they should ask about such things. So instead of realizing that you are just looking out for your readership, he just throws in his opinion without thought.

Just keep up the good work and try not to let those type of folks rattle you.