With all respect to David Letterman, here are the top 10 signs your airline is in trouble.
10. When they pass out pretzels, they pass the pilot’s hat around for donations.
9. Your cross-country flight is diverted to Texas to fill up on cheaper gas.
8. Flight attendants are all wearing hand-me-down pantsuits from the Hillary Clinton campaign.
7. The overhead bins have been turned into coin lockers.
6. Flight attendants announce that your seat cushions not only double as a flotation device, they will also double as your pillow.
5. “Buy on board” for $5 will now include soft drinks, snack boxes and shares of airline stock.
4. Dollar-store napkins read “Romney for President 2008.”
3. Airline fuselage covered with more sponsorship stickers than an Indy car.
2. Instead of turning on air conditioning, flight attendants hand out paper fans.
1. You are flying on an airline based in the United States.
