Political correctness

[cole75]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK'
- She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER'
- She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'

3. She is not 'EASY'
- She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE'
- She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'


5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND'
- She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD'
- She is 'REALITY IMPAIRED.'

7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY'
- She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS'
- She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'

9. She does not 'NAG' you
- She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

10. She is not a 'TRAMP'
- She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'

11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS'
- She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'

12. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER'
- She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT- He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER'
- He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME'
- He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING'
- He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER'
- He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.'

6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK'
- He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.'

7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS'
- He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG'
- He has 'SWINE EMPATHY.'

9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT'
- He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'

10. He is not 'HORNY'
- He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'

11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants
- It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE '

Please use your best judgment when referring to these people, so as to make it more comfortable for the rest of us./pn

[the dark knight]

This is so funny! Unfortunately for me, if all this is the PC and the "proper" terms to use for each in public....I would not be able to open my mouth other than saying hello, thank you or goodbye....even at home! Well, I do use number 8 for the ladies...sort of..lol.
And I try hard to be a diplomatic sort, as most Southern gentlemen are raised to do. We are raised to be diplomatic and charming gentleman, not politically correct. Oh well...