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Old 07-30-2005, 05:48 PM   #1
jfrenaye
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Not that I particularly agree but....

SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN
AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS


REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY JULY 30.

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays

• Step by Step, with Slide Presentation
• Two-hour class meets 7 p.m. Mondays/Wednesdays for 2 weeks

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll: Does It Change Itself?

• Round Table Discussion
• Two-hour class meets at noon Saturdays, for 2 weeks

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat/Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub

• Group Practice
• Two-hour class meets 10 p.m. Saturdays for 4 weeks at O'Malley's Brew Pub on 16th Street

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor

• Pictures and Explanatory Graphics
• Three-week class meets at 2 p.m. Saturdays

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes: Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?

• Examples on Video
• Two-hour class meets 7 p.m. Tuesdays/Thursdays for 4 weeks

Class 6
Loss Of Identity: Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other

• Help Line Support
• Support Groups meets 7 p.m. Fridays and Sundays for 4 weeks

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things, Starting With Looking In The Right
Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming

• Two-hour open forum, 8 p.m. Mondays

Class 8
Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health

• Graphics and Audio Tapes
• Two-hour class meets 7 p.m. Mondays/Wednesdays/Fridays

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost: Real Life Testimonials

• 6 p.m. Tuesdays, location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?

• Driving simulations
• Four-week class meets for two hours, Saturdays at noon

Class 11
Learning to Live: Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife

• Online classes and role-playing, beginning at 7 p.m. Tuesdays
• Location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion: Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques

• Two-hour class meets at 7 p.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late

• Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered
• Two-hour class meets Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 7 p.m.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven:What It Is and How It Is Used?

• Live Demonstration
• 6 p.m. Tuesdays, location to be determined.

Diplomas will be issued to the survivors upon completion of any of the above courses.
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Old 07-30-2005, 07:23 PM   #2
stephen_s
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These are awesome!

Course 5 is possible if you are a Jedi Knight
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Old 07-30-2005, 08:25 PM   #3
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And of course John, you can post these in confidence because you have passed all of them with flying colors!!
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Old 07-30-2005, 09:30 PM   #4
jfrenaye
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Hey---I did pass Course 3, and only have relapses on occasion when I wrestle with Mr. Dewars ! LOL
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Old 07-31-2005, 06:58 AM   #5
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I used to clean the bar we owned.....ALL MEN SHOULD SIT !! Especially under these circumstances!! LOL
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Old 07-31-2005, 05:07 PM   #6
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My ex-husband should take these classes in case he gets married again...
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Old 07-31-2005, 05:08 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by jfrenaye@Jul 30 2005, 09:30 PM
Hey---I did pass Course 3, and only have relapses on occasion when I wrestle with Mr. Dewars !* LOL
[snapback]5991[/snapback]
Uh, Mr. Frenaye... too much information...
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Old 07-31-2005, 08:07 PM   #8
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And of course there's always:

Class 15
Intensive Workshop on Proper Shoe Selection, or why it is necessary to own over 100 pair of shoes

• Lectures include style and suggested heel height, practical demonstrations on proper shopping technique, and the advisability of saving shoes that either no longer fit or are in style for possible future reuse.

• Two-hour lecture on Mondays at 5:00, with field trips to various shoe outlets on Saturday afternoon.

Class length is anticipated to be four weeks long (or until either A. The phrase "Why do you own so go**amn many shoes" is eliminated from participant's vocabulary, or B. The class attendee expands HIS wardrobe to more than five pair of shoes (consisting of one pair of sandals, one pair baseball/football/soccer cleats, one brown pair, one black pair and one pair sneakers)).
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Old 08-01-2005, 01:16 PM   #9
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Quote:
The class attendee expands HIS wardrobe to more than five pair of shoes (consisting of one pair of sandals, one pair baseball/football/soccer cleats, one brown pair, one black pair and one pair sneakers)).

It also provides the opportunity to bring the average age of his shoe "wardrobe" to under 8 years as an extra credit project.
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Old 08-01-2005, 01:19 PM   #10
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You're right, I totally forgot about the shoe wardrobe age factor!
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