Best Cookie Recipe

[jsamm7769]

You must read this all the way down... this is my type of baking!!!
Christmas Cookie Recipe
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Crown Royal

- Sample the Crown Royal to check quality.
- Take a large bowl, check the Crown Royal again, to be sure it is of
the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
- Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.
- Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
- At this point it's best to make sure the Crown Royal is still OK, try
another cup.. Just in case.
- Turn off the mixer thingy.
- Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
- Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
- Mix on the turner.
- If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with
a dewscriver.
- Sample the Crown Royal to check for tonsisticity.
- Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.... Who giveshz a sheet.
- Check the Crown Royal.
- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
- Add one table.
- Add a spoon of AR, or somefink.... Whatever you can find.
- Greash the oven.
- Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
- Don't forget to beat off the turner.
- Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
- Finish the bottle of Crown Royal.
- Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas

[Kairho]

You can find the Jack Daniels version of this delicacy here.

(I'll close this thread so that all the guffaws are in one handy location.)