Political correctness

[cole75]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK'
- She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER'
- She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'

3. She is not 'EASY'
- She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE'
- She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'


5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND'
- She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD'
- She is 'REALITY IMPAIRED.'

7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY'
- She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS'
- She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'

9. She does not 'NAG' you
- She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

10. She is not a 'TRAMP'
- She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'

11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS'
- She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'

12. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER'
- She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT- He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER'
- He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME'
- He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING'
- He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER'
- He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.'

6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK'
- He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.'

7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS'
- He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG'
- He has 'SWINE EMPATHY.'

9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT'
- He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'

10. He is not 'HORNY'
- He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'

11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants
- It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE '

Please use your best judgment when referring to these people, so as to make it more comfortable for the rest of us./pn