|01-28-2008, 02:27 PM||#1|
Member since: Feb 2006
Location: Thunder Bay, Ont.
Rep Power: 87
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK'
- She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER'
- She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'
3. She is not 'EASY'
- She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE'
- She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND'
- She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD'
- She is 'REALITY IMPAIRED.'
7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY'
- She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'
8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS'
- She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'
9. She does not 'NAG' you
- She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
10. She is not a 'TRAMP'
- She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'
11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS'
- She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'
12. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER'
- She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT- He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER'
- He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME'
- He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING'
- He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER'
- He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.'
6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK'
- He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.'
7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS'
- He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG'
- He has 'SWINE EMPATHY.'
9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT'
- He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'
10. He is not 'HORNY'
- He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'
11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants
- It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE '
Please use your best judgment when referring to these people, so as to make it more comfortable for the rest of us./pn
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