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mtileston
06-20-2006, 10:50 AM
A friend of mine surprised his girlfriend with a trip to Ireland this coming August. He did this without her knowledge and he fully expects to pick up the cost of airfare, hotels, and transportation while there.

He realizes that any gifts she picks up along the way will be on her own tab. However, he's not sure how the cost of meals should be handled and the costs for sight-seeing excursions (i.e. entry fees to museums, etc) since these will be jointly decided once there.

Anyone have any suggestions or advice to offer?

Thanks.

Matt

bodega
06-20-2006, 10:59 AM
If he is surprising her with this gift, then he should expect to pay for meals and sightseeing, too. That is just a plain given!

missalf
06-20-2006, 11:25 AM
It sounds trite, but does he want her to remain his girlfriend after the flight?

So many things feature into this -- first and foremost can she afford to pay for some of her costs during the trip; if he purchased the ticket for her knowing full well she lives paycheck to paycheck then it should have been with the assumption he would be footing the bill for everything (except, perhaps, gifts from her for those back home).

It also depends on the depth of the relationship and the independence of the individuals -- if it were me I'd have asked upon presentation of the tickets how much spending cash should bring for food and other things -- that way the ground rules would be established right away -- and if my partner was planning to pick up the bill the answer would tell me that.

Perhaps he could broach the subject by asking her how much money she's planning on taking for expenses and see how the conversation goes from there -- although since he sprung this on her he should probably just plan to absorb those costs if the conversation goes downhill fast!

cole75
06-20-2006, 11:37 AM
Find out if he can change the name on her ticket .. just in case (heehee)

cole75
06-20-2006, 11:46 AM
I think that before he finalizes anything (money down on non-refundable non changeable tickets) he better make sure that she's the kind of girl who will help out with costs, but he should really expect it all to come out of his pocket. With escorted tours (ie Trafalgar) my rep gave me the figure of about $100.00/day for addtional sightseeing/meals that weren't included/gifts/souvenires/etc... so I would probably double that if they are going on their own. Tell him to prebook full day tours that already include meals/admission fees/etc. so that there won't be alot of monies owed while overseas...

Hope this helps..
Nicole

mtileston
06-20-2006, 12:24 PM
For the record: the airfare has been paid for already and he has arranged the accommodations and transportation. This is not a guided tour and she has a well-paying job as does he.

I told him that he should pick up the tab for her meals and sightseeing, but I also told him that they would figure it out along the way between them.

And, missalf, if only we all think like you and the good sense you display, then I wouldn't be soliciting advice! :)

Thanks all.

Cindy
06-20-2006, 02:27 PM
Maybe if he sat down with her and asked her what sort of sightseeing she wants to do then that would give him the chance to talk about the money ..She might just tell him at that point that she expects to pay for her own sightseeing since he paid for the trip, maybe not, but it seems to me that talking to her about what she would like to do while there, would open that door for conversation and answer his question before they even leave..
Just my thoughts..
Cindy

deangreenhoe
06-20-2006, 02:57 PM
Oy. I have seen "surprise" travel gifts go really, really bad. :lol:

This was the best advice I've seen:

Find out if he can change the name on her ticket .. just in case (heehee)


I have a lot of good stories but I'm feeling too groggy to pontificate today. :P

Eileen Sellers
06-20-2006, 04:38 PM
He did this without her knowledge

He gets to pay for everything...including her passport if she doesn't have one.
I like the idea about changing the name on the ticket...insurance would come in handy on this one, those unforseen events..

He should present her with the option to join him and she only has to pay for her meals...and then he has to hope she says yes so he doesn't loose his money.

jfrenaye
06-20-2006, 05:05 PM
Hell, just do it and be prepared to foot the entire bill. If she has any class, she will offer to pick up a meal or a sightseeing deal here and there (or maybe all of them) since he did the trip. It would be perectly acceptable for him to accept her generosity.

No need to sweat this out in any event--not yet

REDJIM
06-20-2006, 05:42 PM
Originally posted by mtileston@Jun 20 2006, 10:50 AM
A friend of mine surprised his girlfriend with a trip to Ireland this coming August. He did this without her knowledge and he fully expects to pick up the cost of airfare, hotels, and transportation while there.

He realizes that any gifts she picks up along the way will be on her own tab. However, he's not sure how the cost of meals should be handled and the costs for sight-seeing excursions (i.e. entry fees to museums, etc) since these will be jointly decided once there.

Anyone have any suggestions or advice to offer?

Thanks.

Matt
29390

First off, bravo to the boyfriend for planning a GREAT trip with a special friend. I think, if the young lady in question has any character, she will be ready to spend her "share" where appropriate. A good test for the gent to determine if the young lady is a keeper. Is it politically correct to say that? "Oh, fudge. I don't really care."

Cindy
06-20-2006, 10:32 PM
Originally posted by jfrenaye@Jun 20 2006, 05:05 PM
Hell, just do it and be prepared to foot the entire bill.* If she has any class, she will offer to pick up a meal or a sightseeing deal here and there (or maybe all of them) since he did the trip.* It would be perectly acceptable for him to accept her generosity.

No need to sweat this out in any event--not yet
29431



John,
I couldn't agree more with this statement....If she has any class at all she will even pay for some of his meals...I know I would..
And yes, if she offers it would be perfectly acceptable for him to accept..
I have seen these kinds of things go bad and a friend of mine lost all of his money for a "surprise" trip similar to what has been described here..
Cindy

jfrenaye
06-21-2006, 06:59 AM
Be prepared to foot it all. I did something similar with a girlfriend to London and she offered to pick up the entire tab at every meal. We did not do tours, because I am familiar with the city and only did some of the must sees.

Being the chivalrous gent that I am, I refused to let her pick up the check except at one very nice restaurant on the West End that she insisted--and I felt perfectly acceptable sitting on my wallet when the bill came.

THe discussion will come up naturally I suspect, but be sure he is prepared to cover it in case it does not go as I suspect. In that case, probably not a keeper! LOL

travel
06-25-2006, 12:09 AM
Let's see...."I got you this wonderful gift...now can you pay for part of it?"

He should be prepared to pay for everything because he did it without checking with her first. If they had planned it together, he would have had every right to negotiate who pays for what.

That being said, if she has a decent job and isn't living paycheck to paycheck, and she is looking for an equal partnership and not a caregiver, she should offer to pay for stuff. If it were me, once I received the gift and talked about things we would like to do while we were there, I'd be online the very next moment I had some alone time (or at my office...hee hee) to go online and set up my own little "thank you" that might include a nice restaurant, tickets to a special event, admission to a great museum, or a combination of all of the above. And I'd be trying to pick up at least a meal or two along the way.

I was taken to Vegas and to a B&B in California by a friend, and although I tried to pay for lots of things, he kept saying no. He wouldn't even let me pay for breakfast or get us coffee. I was thankful that I had bought tickets for a show before we left and kept it secret except to say that I made plans for one evening. It was great, but I never expected it, and neither should she, but he should be prepared for it because some women enjoy that kind of thing. The fact that he's asking about it makes me think he doesn't really know which kind of woman she is.

deangreenhoe
06-25-2006, 08:36 AM
He should be prepared to pay for everything because he did it without checking with her first. If they had planned it together, he would have had every right to negotiate who pays for what.

In my mind, this is the definitive answer to the question. It's really not a gift if it results in a large unexpected expenditure on the part of the receiver. I'm afraid that's the nature of the beast in these situations. If he can't afford and doesn't attempt to cover the whole trip it would seem a bit self-serving.

I know it would hit me kind of funny.

Ned
06-25-2006, 09:30 AM
The guy should pay for the whole trip. This was a surprise, a gift and he made all the decisions as to where to go, stay, fly etc., and gave her no choice as to whether she wanted to go, so she also had no say in how much or how the money was to be spent. It's no gift is she's paying for it.

The only thing she should have to pay for is anything extra she buys on the trip which she decides to purchase.

If she decides to pay for some of it, great for him, but the obligation is his.